1.07.2008

When I Was Young...


When I was young, things seemed simple. Life was filled with only the moment. I could amuse myself with nothing but a patch of dirt and my little hand. I created entire worlds within my mind, and discovered that watching a single star for more than a few moments showed me the meaning of existence.
When I was young, things seemed simple.

When I became a teenager, my perceptions changed. Things no longer seemed so simple. They seemed Serious. Every little thing had some hidden meaning that I, a 16 year old know-it-all and drama addict, had to uncover and analyze. Did he look at me? If he did, was it a good look or a bad look? If I wear these shoes to school, will my life be over? I can't find a fucking bra that fits. God, what if I don't get into college?
When I was a teenager, things seemed serious.

When I went to college, things seemed complicated but carefree. I had to balance my educational life with the all-important social sphere, but in my case it was more like finding room in my social life for my education. I took difficult classes, but would have a beer at the bar right after. Academics always came easy to me, so I took advantage, made the first C grade in my entire life, sat back and enjoyed the ride.
When I went to college, things seemed complicated but carefree.

When I joined the "real world," things seemed simple but serious. Don't get a credit card; it will ruin your future. Take this job; it's being handed to you on a silver platter. Take this job seriously, dammit. Buy a house; start your net worth. Wear a suit; don't shave your head. If you do decide to shave your head, call in to work sick and show up the next day looking like a cancer patient. With your suit on. Don't you dare laugh at that un-PC joke! Bend over and kiss the white man's capitalistic ass.
When I joined the "real world," things seemed simple but serious.

When I grabbed ahold of my own life, things were simple and carefree. Yes, I want to marry a man with tattoos covering his body. No, I don't want to work for a micro-manager. Yes, I want to get drunk with my friends, and no, I won't feel bad about it. Yes, I want to watch the stars until I attain nirvana. No, I don't believe in god.
When I grabbed ahold of my own life, things were simple and carefree.

And I can still entertain myself with just a patch of dirt and my own little hand.

3 comments:

  1. Is that you? How cute and adorable!

    And your personal writings are always lovely.

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  2. yes, 'tis me in my "send in the clown" days. my bun was so tight, i couldn't close my eyes.

    thanks shug.

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  3. "And I can still entertain myself with just a patch of dirt and my own little hand."

    You should see what I can do with a rubber band and some glue. Awesome post, by the way.

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Spit it, betch!