A Brief Word from the Bitch Files

Since the Bears really took it in the ass this year, I kind of stopped caring about football season. But the bullshit that is piling up about the Dallas Cowboys simply must be addressed.

There are several pertinent points here, as follows:

1. Jessica Simpson does not have the ability to wield the kind of power it takes to make an ENTIRE PROFESSIONAL FOOTBALL TEAM fail. Anyone who thinks the she does is clearly touched in the head, and probably already fondling her double D's. (I'm looking at YOU, Papa Joe.)

2. Tony Romo has already proven himself an idiot simply by affiliation, so to think that he could bomb a big game on his own is no fucking surprise.

3. Apologies in advance, but it's the Dallas fucking Cowboys. They haven't been good since the days when Kurt Cobain still walked the earth, Michael Jackson wasn't a child molester, and Arnold Schwarzenegger still pretended to act. So yeah.

The people who are blaming Jessica Simpson for the Cowboy's loss (ahem, national media) are, to put it mildly, retarded. (Thanks Texas! I mean, not only did you give us Bush, but remember, Jessica is one of your own.)

Oh, and also, TO, you are a pussy. This is why no one likes you. Not even Cowboys fans, and that IS scraping bottom. (Again, no offense meant, Cowboy fans. But truth is truth.)