Living Bi in a Straight World

To come out, or not to come out: That can be a huge question, especially for those of us that consider ourselves "mostly" straight.

Something I have learned as I grow (older, if not wiser) is that life is full of gray areas. Often, we seek answers to questions that have none, and this is an uncomfortable place to exist for most people. We like our world nice and structured. Paper or plastic. Truth or dare. God or no god. Gay or straight. This or that. This doesn't allow for a lot of room for where most of us fall, which is usually somewhere in between: The dreaded gray area.

There has been a lot of attention in the gay community lately about coming out, sparked by the recent string of tragic suicides, many of which are related to being bullied because of one's sexuality. It is so sad to me that being closeted is still extremely common, but it is easy to see why many members of the gay community continue to live in the closet. There is pressure on both sides of the fence: Don't come out because of the inevitable judgement; or come out because of the pressure to be supportive. I like to call this: The dreaded gay area.

As I mentioned in my It Gets Better Post, I am bisexual. I've never felt like I was missing out on living my true life because I wasn't "out" to many of my friends and family. This is because I'm mostly straight. I've had a few short-lived relationships with women, but my "serious" relationship have always been with men.

So what does it mean for the many of us that are Mostly Straight? It is important for us to come out to support our gay brothers and sisters, aunts, uncles, cousins, parents, and friends? Is it productive? Would it start a true conversation?

These are perfect examples of those gray areas. Most likely, there is no right answer. Most definitely, this is a choice that each individual must make for themselves.

But I ask this: Is it important? And why?

Austin, We have an Issue.

I consider myself a normal, healthy woman in her almost-prime. (I'll be 30 on my next.) Now, the way I understand it, most normal healthy women start to hit their sexual peak somewhere in their mid to late 30s.

As of the last couple of months, I have thought of almost nothing but sex. I used to think about it a lot before that, but now I think about it CONSTANTLY. In fact, it is becoming difficult to function because I am being bombarded by blistering blasts of bedlust. I can't concentrate on even the simplest things. I get turned on by the most innocent things. Like taking a turn too fast on the road. Or watching someone--that I'm not even ATTRACTED to--stretch. And things are going downhill rather quickly.

Austin, we have an issue.

This isn't an issue of not getting any. I am getting any. I'm getting GOOD any. And compared to my last relationship, and many before that, I'm getting a lotta good any. So I have to wonder: Is my getting any directly contributing to the Katrina-like flooding I'm currently experiencing in my downtown highrise?

I'm sure the answer is: Yes, a little.

But GOD: I have TEN MORE YEARS of this?????

FUCK.



Oh fuck. I said "fuck".

Now I'm "on" again.

CHRIST.

Hmm. I bet he was good at it.

DAMMIT!

I'm a Dirty Dirty Girl

HA HA HA! I love that pic. No, I'm not talking about that kind of dirty. (I just wanted to shock you.) I'm talking about being dirty, literally, on the inside.

So I've been thinking about doing a colon cleanse lately (I know, I know, it sounds SO retarded-socialite-with-nothing-to-do), but I'm not talking about the shoving a tube up my ass and having my shit sucked out version. I'm talking about the herbal fast and detox version, which, rumor has it, makes you poop like this. (WARNING! DO NOT VIEW WHILE EATING, OR WHILE THINKING OF EATING, OR GETTING READY TO EAT.) Gah. Gah gah gah gah gah! The only thing that horrifies me more than those images is the prospect that something like that could be inside of me. And I want it out!

I am a fairly healthy person; I try to eat as many veggies as possible, I usually go for the salad over the french fries, and I NEVER eat fast food. (Seriously, the last time I did was years ago, and it wasn't pretty.) So I figure I'm in good shape. But I haven't always been (read: college) and I do drink alcohol fairly regularly (read: almost daily), so I've been thinking about it.

When I was in college, I worked at a co-op, and many of my co-workers swore by the Master Cleanse thingy, which basically consists of drinking nothing but a concoction of organic lemon juice, organic maple syrup, cayenne pepper, and water for 10 to 13 days. But, then again, I was in college, and the idea of intaking nothing but gourmet lemonade did not appeal in the least.

So now I'm older (certainly) and wiser (questionable, but I think so) and I want to take care of my body for the long haul. So I'm thinking about this cleansing idea.

Anyone ever tried it before?