...

When I miss you, I look at your facebook profile. It helps, but it kinda hurts, too.

This is the End, My Friend

Well, now that it is actually upon me, I can't believe I never saw it.

I always thought that the problems between me and my husband weren't because of a lack of love. Now I see that that was the only problem.

I am terribly, terribly sad.

A Song of Despair

For an amazing, inspirational woman. A loving, beautiful wife. A kind, adoring mother. A woman I never met face to face, yet grew to know as we supported one another in our trudge through life struggles. Her struggle has ended, and thus begins those who knew and love her. My heart reaches out to her family.

Rest peacefully.

Amanda "AlabamaPink" Amos
1975 - 2009


A Song of Despair


The memory of you emerges from the night around me.
The river mingles its stubborn lament with the sea.

Deserted like the dwarves at dawn.
It is the hour of departure, oh deserted one!

Cold flower heads are raining over my heart.
Oh pit of debris, fierce cave of the shipwrecked.

In you the wars and the flights accumulated.
From you the wings of the song birds rose.

You swallowed everything, like distance.
Like the sea, like time. In you everything sank!

It was the happy hour of assault and the kiss.
The hour of the spell that blazed like a lighthouse.

Pilot's dread, fury of blind driver,
turbulent drunkenness of love, in you everything sank!

In the childhood of mist my soul, winged and wounded.
Lost discoverer, in you everything sank!

You girdled sorrow, you clung to desire,
sadness stunned you, in you everything sank!

I made the wall of shadow draw back,
beyond desire and act, I walked on.

Oh flesh, my own flesh, woman whom I loved and lost,
I summon you in the moist hour, I raise my song to you.

Like a jar you housed infinite tenderness.
and the infinite oblivion shattered you like a jar.

There was the black solitude of the islands,
and there, woman of love, your arms took me in.

There was thirst and hunger, and you were the fruit.
There were grief and ruins, and you were the miracle.

Ah woman, I do not know how you could contain me
in the earth of your soul, in the cross of your arms!

How terrible and brief my desire was to you!
How difficult and drunken, how tensed and avid.

Cemetery of kisses, there is still fire in your tombs,
still the fruited boughs burn, pecked at by birds.

Oh the bitten mouth, oh the kissed limbs,
oh the hungering teeth, oh the entwined bodies.

Oh the mad coupling of hope and force
in which we merged and despaired.

And the tenderness, light as water and as flour.
And the word scarcely begun on the lips.

This was my destiny and in it was my voyage of my longing,
and in it my longing fell, in you everything sank!

Oh pit of debris, everything fell into you,
what sorrow did you not express, in what sorrow are you not drowned!

From billow to billow you still called and sang.
Standing like a sailor in the prow of a vessel.

You still flowered in songs, you still brike the currents.
Oh pit of debris, open and bitter well.

Pale blind diver, luckless slinger,
lost discoverer, in you everything sank!

It is the hour of departure, the hard cold hour
which the night fastens to all the timetables.

The rustling belt of the sea girdles the shore.
Cold stars heave up, black birds migrate.

Deserted like the wharves at dawn.
Only tremulous shadow twists in my hands.

Oh farther than everything. Oh farther than everything.

It is the hour of departure. Oh abandoned one!



-Pablo Neruda

Dirge in Word

a cap of black and purple curls
atop a peak of sorrow
lives within eyelash unfurled
glazed with cheer on borrow
forget me now to my false regret
heed not the salty rain
for no more was yours that you beget
through haze of childhood pain

The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had...

Take Another Lil' Piece of My Heart

I've been doing my best, living in denial, but I must now face the music.

My good friend is leaving.

We've had our share of ups and downs, me and my buddy -- mostly ups. But the downs are where we really found our friendship. And now she is moving away, to go live with her wonderful fiance, where they will be happy and successful and lovey and together.

But they won't be here.

Remember when we first met? The fates must have brought us together, and nothing cements a bond like soldiers in the trench of warfare (cough, cough, museum, cough).

And then there were the "Unfortunate Friends." Let's hope they stay limber and stoned.

Of course, we can't EVER forget naked night. Even though a part of me kinda wants to, and another part of me wants to do it again...

As crazy as this sounds (although, coming from me I'm guessing you expect as much) the "Awkwardness of Fall 2007" is still remembered a bit fondly...with a few little laughs on my part.

I can only hope that, one day, the powerful crystals in the bedrock of this little mountain town will draw them back, and we can pick up where we left off: futher defining an ever-blossoming friendship that shows no signs of slowing.

There is much to say, and I know that I will be tearful when we finally say goodbye, but for now, know that I love you, will miss you terribly, and will never leave your internets idle, dear friend.

And I promise to keep you updated on the "town drama."

Here's hoping for your speedy return home, and the speedy return of my sex life. (Those are mutually exclusive, of course.)

Love,

A Girl Named Boo-Hoo