I came home today, after a very long and upsetting day, to find the following:

My dog had "buried" two bloody tampons under the pillows of our bed, after apparently chewing on them in various spots on the bed, leaving a bloody trail.

Unfortunately, that's not even the worst of it.

They were my mom's.

I guess it's a good thing that I wasn't already sleeping well at night. This saves me from the nightmares that would be sure to haunt me.

**Update: I just found the missing bloody pad on my beautiful wingback chair. Life is officially hell.**


  1. Different story but the same: Little A likes to play with my boxes of tampons under the bathroom sink. Recently, he unwrapped one (unused of course)and walked around pretending like it was a microphone. I couldn't get the image of Bob Barker out of my head because damned if that tampon didn't look exactly like his signature mic on PiR.

    Dogs can be so grody.

  2. on a similar note, one of my roommates awhile back (not one of my favorite) left her tampon in the middle of the hallway. used. just lying there. no where near a trash can.

  3. Sooo not good! Bad dog! No treats for him.

  4. Ouch dude. May I offer you some of the mental bleach I've been using all day after someone put the mental image of sex with my boss into my head? It works really well if you just tip it straight into your ear...

  5. manda: heee! little Bob "A" Barker.

    logorrheic: ba-JESUS. at least this was explainable...so how long did it take for you to punch her out?

    GwcH: that's RIGHT. no treats. In fact, as of today, our bedroom and bathroom doors are closed to her while she is home alone. BAD DOG.

    AtO: oh yeah, thanks. [reaches for mind bleach]. I sure coulda used this two days ago. maybe then i wouldn't have insomnia. but then again, there's a reason for everything. [pours into ear, slumps back in office chair] Ahhhhhhh.....

  6. oh. my. god.

    damn, that is one rough way to start the day.

    hi - I'm chris and i just stumbled on your blog. It's really good!

  7. [everyone together]

    HI CHRIS!!!

    I kid. Thanks bud, and actually, that was how I ENDED my day.

    Weeeeell, I take that back...I ended the day passed out drunk on the couch beside my passed out drunk hubs, but who's really counting, eh?

  8. I think I just threw up in my mouth a little.

  9. GAH indeed.

    I think I need some side boob to get that disgusting image out of my head.

    *scrolls down*

    Ah, there we go.

  10. I just....ugh, I just puked a bit in my mouth. Tastes like croissant. My dog does the same thing, and I live with three women. Yay dogs.

  11. oh it just kept getting worse...

    (I can't wait for what's next!)

  12. oh .... my .... sweet ... baby .... Jesus .... I am reminded of why I am glad that I own a cat.


Spit it, betch!