The events I am about to relate really happened this past Saturday night.
I come home with my "friend". I have a backache from building a deck all day. I am in pain, but nothing serious. I am, however, in need of some serious, ahem, sexual healing.
"Friend" falls asleep. I am without relief. I begin to relieve myself, as was a habit during the last stages of my mostly sexless marriage.
Just as I'm reaching liftoff, "friend" wakes up (because apparently I was moaning), and asks me, "Are you ok? Do you need a doctor?"
I promptly lose my liftoff.
"What?" I ask.
"Do you need a doctor?"
"For my orgasm?"
"Oh. I thought you were in pain. Because of your back."
We laugh. Alot. And then we both relieve each other. Several times.