Austin, We have an Issue.

I consider myself a normal, healthy woman in her almost-prime. (I'll be 30 on my next.) Now, the way I understand it, most normal healthy women start to hit their sexual peak somewhere in their mid to late 30s.

As of the last couple of months, I have thought of almost nothing but sex. I used to think about it a lot before that, but now I think about it CONSTANTLY. In fact, it is becoming difficult to function because I am being bombarded by blistering blasts of bedlust. I can't concentrate on even the simplest things. I get turned on by the most innocent things. Like taking a turn too fast on the road. Or watching someone--that I'm not even ATTRACTED to--stretch. And things are going downhill rather quickly.

Austin, we have an issue.

This isn't an issue of not getting any. I am getting any. I'm getting GOOD any. And compared to my last relationship, and many before that, I'm getting a lotta good any. So I have to wonder: Is my getting any directly contributing to the Katrina-like flooding I'm currently experiencing in my downtown highrise?

I'm sure the answer is: Yes, a little.

But GOD: I have TEN MORE YEARS of this?????


Oh fuck. I said "fuck".

Now I'm "on" again.


Hmm. I bet he was good at it.



  1. Oh sweetie, I'm with you there. I've had to break out Ol' Shakey multiple times a day. That can't be healthy...

  2. Oh my poor tender eyeballs...

    Clearly I need to take a trip down South. Um, to get you ladies some help. Yes. Yes that's it. Help.

    Um, I gotta go.

  3. Having the same problem. We took pictures of a 1967 Ford Shelby Mustang for my Graphic Design III class and I am pretty sure that I jizzed in my pants ... twice.

    But, it is nice to be "randy" and have someone that you can have "the relations" with. I feel like I was like this since I was 23 though, which is weird. Maybe, if you are gay, your peak starts at a different time. Nah, gay men want some ass all the time.

    But I totally feel ya. I can't get enough of some sex. Good times :)

  4. Glad to know it's not just me.

    I'm in the wrong industry. Clearly I need to be doing something else, like manufacturing sex toys, or producing porn or something.

  5. No no no... I'm in the same boat as you, remember? I was in a mostly sexless 7-year relationship and I got by. But now, over the past year and change, if I have to go for like two days I damn near explode. I don't know if it's so much my age (32) or the "opening of the floodgates" (pun intended) like, "Oh wait? Remember THIS? This is AWESOOMMMME."

  6. Same here Boo. Almost 30, and though the boyfriend's libido matches mine and we don't see each other without having sex (you can't stop ME bronchitis!) I still find myself wanting it ALL. THE. TIME.


Spit it, betch!