Open Letter to Kelly Ripa

Dear Kelly,

You've gone too far. You are undermining everything that I hold dear to my heart--as a woman--and I will not take it anymore.

I am only going to ask this once.

Please stop. Please stop propagating the idea that the American woman must fill every single second with something productive to be considered an accomplished adult. The fact that you can create a gala for Martha Stewart's birthday on a shoestring budget, make a wholesome, homemade meal for 20 needy children, design a better vacuum, memorize crappy lines, not make a stinky face while sitting next to Regis "I've been embalmed ten times to look this good" Philbin, take an advanced pilates class, volunteer for the Ziploc Foundation for Fresher Curtains brigade, donate all your blood, serve bottles of your own wine from handpicked grapes from your backyard vineyard, and not eat a single thing ever--all before you send your kids to school in the morning with a packed lunch, complete with healthy fruits and veggies--does not make you a Super Woman.

It just makes you crazy.

So, really. Just stop.




  1. can you imagine living with that woman? exhausting. she certainly never relaxes on the couch with a bowl, some chocolate, and peanut butter, like a certain someone I know

  2. The value of sitting around in your sweats all day staring off into space and absentmindedly picking at a loose thread on the sofa is seriously underrated in my opinion.

    People who are constantly busy disturb me. I tend to think they must really hate themselves if they can't sit still and just be, even for five minutes.

  3. effina: who on EARTH are you talking about?!? And no, I can't imagine living with that woman. Because after about 10 seconds, one of us would no longer exist.

    AtO: Ah, the pleasure and value of silence. The art of doing nothing. It has a purpose. BRAIN ACTIVITY. Yay brains!

  4. All I know about her is that she is the laughing sidekick to Regis. From what you say, there must be something seriously wrong with her, which would also explain how she sits next to Regis.

    Effina, do we know each other? You should know that I am on a diet now and don't eat chocolate anymore. pqir

  5. You hate her stupid appliance commercials too? Guh.

    She can be funny sometimes, but mostly I find her uber-grating. She is just so tight.

  6. yes; it was the appliance commercial that sent me over the edge. it was exhausting just to watch.

  7. It could always be worse -- we could still have Kathy Lee Gifford.

  8. Oh don't worry: you can now get your daily dose of the Gifford on the Today Show!


  9. Wow. What a serving of jealousy.
    Since when do REAL people measure themselves by television personalities? Don't berate Kelly because she seemingly does it all, in your mind. She often states that she couldn't do it all without all the people she has around her. So cut her some slack. A friend of mine is part of the corporate CEO ranks - in the millions. And her husband and her run themselves ragged. However, my husband and I aspire to different levels such as keeping in touch with family members that live by, not being jetsetters, rather, enjoying the great outdoors instead. Such things my pal never has time for. HOWEVER I do not disparage my friend, nor am I jealous because I don't WANT that kind of life. Not an iota. So relax and don't try to measure yourself by what you see on tv. Enjoy life.


  10. P.S. We're more in the double digit income level, in case you were wondering.



Spit it, betch!