1. Hire a contractor.
2. Make sure said contractor is disguising a serious mental imbalance.
3. Make plans with contractor.
4. After he completes the foundation, make sure he waits at least 6 months before doing anything else to the house.
5. Try to call contractor repeatedly. Make sure he does not call you back.
6. Fire contractor.
7. Re-hire contractor after he has a breakdown, loses 40 pounds, tells you his wife has breast cancer, and that he has crews lined up and waiting to work on your house.
8. Hear nothing from contractor for another month.
9. Call contractor; leave him a message. Make sure he doesn't call you back. Ever.
10. Find out that contractor has a b12 imbalance, and was rushed to the hospital.
11. Hear from contractor's wife. Make sure she blames you for his health problems.
12. Discover the contractor has been committed to a mental institution and has no contact with his family.
13. Re-fire contractor.
14. Hire new contractor.