It is so strange, this feeling of release. I truly haven't felt this way in a long, long time. Years. I don't know how much that had to do with internal or external circumstance, really, but I do know that it feels like I'm finally breathing freely after a long time of holding my breath.
I feel myself unwinding. Unraveling in the most delicious way. I think that might have alarmed me once, but now I am yielding to the cravings of my heart, and my body, and my mind and I'm just starting to reignite the fire that has been smoldering for far too long.
There is inspiration peeking out of my consciousness that hasn't seen daylight. I have been dreaming so much that when I wake, I'm overwhelmed with images and sensations and impressions. Like things are trying to burst out of me, and my consciousness isn't allowing that to happen quite quickly enough. I feel full of life, and starting to get my pace back, and I feel huge. I feel larger than my physical self.
Apparently I've been doing a lot of talking in my sleep, too, and that hasn't happened in years either.
Hmm.
My God, girl. That's exactly how I felt when I stopped seeing my toxic ex and started to write again. The fire and the inspiration - it's when I started writing again.
ReplyDeleteReading your blog at the moment is like looking into my own head two years ago. It's an amazing thing :)
ps as if it needs saying: that's freaking great.
I'm so happy for you! I'm glad you're soaring above everything.
ReplyDeleteYou know, you two—of all my internet buds that I have yet to meet in person (only a matter of time)—I feel the most connected to, and I think you can both really feel me on this.
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad that you are both in my life. Thank you for your never-ending support and love, even when your own shit is knocking on the door. You are both amazing creatures. :)
Boo, you are one awesome dame. Keep on rockin', keep on livin'.
ReplyDeleteHooray! Honey I am proud of you and for you!
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