I am loyal. I'm fun to hang with, I love to make people laugh, and I'm up for anything. I yell for my teammates when no one else is yelling; I cheer when there is nothing to cheer for. I am encouraging, and dedicated, and I live my life out loud. I don't care what strangers think of me. I like to shock people with the things I say. I like to push buttons. I am strong, and beautiful, and the world absorbs me in any way it can.
I wear a bikini although my body isn't perfect. I sing like I will never hear myself again. I work hard and play hard. I am street-wise, and intellectual. I love dreams, and interpreting them. I have kissed men, women, babies, and grandmothers. I don't believe in bedtime. I drink beer until I feel tipsy, and then have another. I smoke marijuana, because I can. I love to give hugs, and get them back.
I am a sexual woman, and not afraid to show it. I have big breasts that are beautiful. I give the people I love everything I have. I look you in the eye; I'm not afraid to connect. I love body language, and I use my body to communicate. I have never regretted the things I've done. I work towards being a better person. And I am a better person today than I was yesterday.
I have nothing to hide. I talk about anything. And if someone cares enough to talk to me, I am a great listener. I have a tender heart, and want to be loved. I choose who I am, I don't just float along and assume things about myself. I love my body enough to decorate it, and I'm not afraid to have something permanent on my skin. I think about the things that people will say at my funeral. I think that they will have a lot to say.
When I make mistakes, I'm quick to apologize and mean it. If I decide I want to do something, I do it. And when I attempt something, I give it 100%. I'm not afraid to fail, and see that as a learning experience. If something can be done better, I say it. I'm not afraid to challenge people. I'm not afraid to challenge myself. I have learned a few things about myself, and none of them are bad. I love myself, and if you don't, then go screw.
Yes, I live out loud. Does that scare you?
This may sound strange, but I almost cried when I read this post! I wish I could live out loud like you do but my life feels more like a whisper. I don't know why I'm so afraid to make some noise. Where can I find some of this awesome confidence you have?
ReplyDeleteYour posts have been lovely lately. Some time ago, I heard an Asian woman describe how she was expected to be like moonlight, gentle, calm and quiet. It seems to me you're very much like sunlight--too bright to ignore.
ReplyDeleteI completely agree with the above comments, your posts have been fabulous of late. You live your life the way I'd like to - I think the primary difference between us is that I shy away from anything involving effort.
ReplyDeleteBelieve me when I say that I truly believe the world would be a better place if more of us were like you.
june: the only thing i can say is practice. it takes an effort in today's culture to care about people but not care about being judged by people. be forwarned: you will lose friends living this kind of life. sometimes it is too much for people to handle.
ReplyDeletegirlwithgorgeoushair: funny, that's how i feel a majority of the time. and thank you for the sweet complement. i've been really wanting to be more myself, and not just write funny, clever, or contentious things for other's entertainment.
alex: thank you so much. yes, it takes effort. but for me, that effort is compensated 10-fold when i stretch myself and come out on the other side having had an amazing life experience. it is so worth it. thank you, thank you.
Our baby boo is going to have a wonderful momma.
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