I have felt so unmotivated to post anything funny, creative, or resembling entertaining, as I have been ridiculously busy and somewhat self-destructive to my downtime (read: blogwriting). So, a couple of quick updates about what is going on with me. Because I'm narcissistic enough to think you care, and blazie enough to not care if you don't.

*My husband and I finally moved into our rental house. Two months later than expected. Remember my flea post? Yeah.
* Now there are plumbing issues. Meaning, six inches of dirty water in our shower when we run a load of laundry. And leaking under the kitchen sink. Bea-u-tiful.
*My mom's house finally sold, but she has about 3 weeks to tidy up and incredibly detailed life, and I swear to god she might drive me crazy yet if she hasn't succeeded already, and honestly, I'm not the person to ask one way or another.
*Summer hours at my office are over. Boo. And I thought summer was for chilling.
*Our new house has footers! Yippee! (Photos of the process will happen, I promise.)
*My little sister went back to Maryland. I cried all night. Boo.
*I am now juggling a ridiculous workload, with no end in sight. And the raise wasn't as great as I had hoped. Boo. I might just quit my job and start bartending again. I made some seriously sweet cash.
*I want to get out and play music with some peeps, but I am either too busy or too tired. Dammit.
*My cat is taking the biggest shits I have ever seen laid by a cat before. It is INSANE. And my poor husband has to clean the litter box, because I do this really horrendous *heave* if I have to even go near it, not to mention the involuntary gags that happen when he is changing it and I can smell it in the other room. GAH. I swear, it is the worst thing I have ever smelt in my life.
*I threw up randomly last night before our softball game, but didn't really feel sick until right when it happened, and felt fine afterward. (I pitched a whole game. A ridiculously bad game, but whatever.) A friend of mine said the P-word, and now I'm pissed. (For those of you not in my brain, the P-word is "pregnant". Gah.)
*Did I mention that my mom might just make me crazy? And we're not living with her anymore. Maybe I should change my name and move to a different country. Eh, but that would just give her a reason to REALLY get pissed.
*Did I mention my mom just turned 50 (last week) and we threw a HA-YUGE party for her? It was great fun, and she looked hot. I hope I look half as good as her at 50. My husband is a lucky man.
*Did I mention my mom taught me how to give a BJ when I was 14? Yep.
*We got a new car, since my husband's truck was totalled (not his fault). It's cute and gets great gas mileage. I'll take a sexy picture of him on the car and post it.
*Da Bears lost their season opener. Gah.
*I got more tattoo work done, but I need to take pics, so those will be up soon too, I suppose. If I can get my ass to care. Blah.

Anyhoo, entertain me now, monkeys.


  1. See what happens when you drool over people's cute babies? You catch them --that is where babies come from, right?

    Oh, and from a woman who is regularly driven crazy by her mother, trust me when I say there is not a country far enough or a name strange enough to save you from their special brand of affection. I almost ended up in Australia.

    Hope things get better.

  2. I am also considering quitting my job and returning to bar work. I am an amazing barmaid and I love it so very, very much. Unfortunately, with the exception of taking work at the kind of bar that will get me disowned quicker than you can say "stripping for cash" I wouldn't be able to make enough money to pay my rent. Boo rubbish :(

    Get your ass in gear to care about posting new tattoo pics, I wanna see.

    Yet another member of the world-wide "my mother drives me insane" club. Although I am not moving to another country I am changing my name... unfortunately it just makes it easier for her to find me as I'm changing it to match her new one.

  3. Congratulations on the Boo Baby!

    Can't wait for the pics ;-)

    And consider yourself lucky that you had summer hours at all. I've been stuck on the 9-5 all summer. BOOOOO!

  4. gwch: i know, it's horrible. my cousin was visiting last week with her 4 year old son, and i had so much fun playing with him. i felt 4 again. so, no to having a baby, yes to being a baby. :)

    i know, it's futile, and i've resigned myself to the fact that for the rest of her life (she's one of these super women who will probably live until she's 120 years old) i'm screwed. and loved, alternatively.

    alex: yeah, my biggest issue with bartending again is that i would never see my husband. and, you know, i married him for a reason. (cheap sex.)

    tk: whoa, whoa, WHOA. no one said I WAS pregnant; the P-word surfaced, and that is enough to send my little feet running to the plan B counter. but, when i'm ready, you all will know it.

    see, now you all know why i'm a girl named BOOOO!

    :) stupid joke, but i don't care about putting an ounce of energy into being witty at this moment. go figure.

  5. A BOUNCING BABY BOO!! I'm so happy for you! Now you can paint one of the rooms in the new house baby colors! I can't wait to hear about your growing baby belly! Gosh, you must be so happy. I'm so PROUD of you.

    Yer gonna be a momma!

  6. you're a rat bastard.

  7. Boo! The language. You've got to watch your tongue now that you're going to have a little one running around.


  8. Well I was wandering if you had lost interest in all your readers, I was beginning to think that you must have tried the master cleanse thing, and got stuck in the toilet.... Also, am I the only one who picked up on Boo's lesson from her Mum? and at the age of 14....

  9. (ignoring tk) yeah, mac, i threw that in as a bonus. good for you, now i know exactly what your priorities are. :)

  10. I'm with Mac. How does that conversation/demonstration go exactly?
    And congrats on the little one. Cleaning up after the cat will seem like a walk in the park.

  11. OK, I'm done.

    As you can tell, I'm a little wonky today. Not enough sleep.


Spit it, betch!