HA. Ha ha ha.
I just had to share this.
I just found out from a friend that my STBEx has been spreading vile rumors around about me. And man, is this a round-about way of finding out. Here's the path that this rumor took to reach my sweet little ears.
My friend's friend was in an airport and randomly met some guy that went to school with my STBEx. They struck up a conversation, and somehow my STBEx came up. This guy, whom I'm pretty sure I know (because it was when I was supporting STBEx while he was finishing an associates degree in woodworking, and that school is exceptionally small so I know all his classmates), says this: Yeah, his ex-wife. What a fucking whore.
Now, this comes as a surprise to me for several reasons. A) Me and STBEx agreed not to talk about our private shit to people not in our close circles. B) He probably hasn't seen this guy in months, but somehow the guy feels he has a right to say something like that to someone he just met. C) I think I know who the dude is, and if it is who I think, then the motherfucker was IN OUR WEDDING.
Wow. Just, wow.
Author's Note: When I heard this, I couldn't help but laugh. The friend who phoned me to tell me this was fucking furious, and clearly had not believed me when I told him that the STBEx had actually said such nasty things to my face over the years. This "whore" comment was so low on the radar of nasty shit in comparison that I can't HELP but laugh. That, and what the fuck am I really gonna do? Call him up and say, "DID YOU CALL ME A WHORE MOTHERFUCKER???" No. There is a piece of white trash in me that wants to do that, but I've outgrown giving in to my baser needs. Anyway, this just becomes more fodder for my Rage/Revenge album currently in the works. GTs.
2nd Author's Note: Also, what the fuck is his problem? He's the one that jumped into bed with someone after two weeks. AND he tried to get me to fuck him again while he was still living in my house when we were separated. AND! Last night I was nice and made him dinner--long story--and he tried to fuck me AGAIN!!!
Whore.
I have been wondering...does STBex read this?
ReplyDeleteSoon To Be Ex = STBEx. :) And I like saying the letters S-T-B when making that reference. It just feels, I don't know...right.
ReplyDeleteHa.
yeah but you didn't answer my question!
ReplyDeleteOH! I totally misread the question. HAAAAA.
ReplyDeleteI don't know; he might. He knows where it is but he never did when we were married. If he does, I don't know about it.
Gives it all an interesting twist, no?
OH, and I saw his new piece on the street today. It was pretty funny. She has monsterously hairy armpits, and I pointed her out to a friend. Friend's reaction: ????????????WTF?????????
I just smiled and shook my head.
this all sounds sadly familiar. :(
ReplyDeleteBoo, honey, I'm REALLY good at kicking shins. And I was once thrown out of a bar for punching a guy in the face. Just say the word...
ReplyDeleteYou made him dinner? Did you make him wear it while it was hot? Because it sounds like that's what he was asking for.
ReplyDeleteI have kicked a guy in the junk and made him cry. He deserved it. You deserve so much better.
ReplyDeleteI'm with curious hair.
ReplyDeleteI am DYING reading this bc I can totally hear you. I wish I were there. There would be Hendricks. And giggles. And... I dunno... EEEEEVIL!
ReplyDeleteThat is super classy of him. I dedicate your next earth shattering orgasm to all the men out there who use that word to make themselves feel better.
ReplyDeleteFunny how all the men who call a women 'whore' are usually the same ones who desperately want to fuck them, but can't.
ReplyDeleteCase in point:in college, I tended to date boys from a certain fraternity...not the whole fraternity, mind you, but a handful.
Anyhoo...
A nasty rumor was spread about me - and when I finally did get to the bottom of it - aka, the bottom feeder who was spreading it - it was the ONE guy out of that group that I wouldn't sleep with.
He has since apologizes years later - thanks Facebook - but you get my drift.
Anyway, I love the sinners. It's the people with no secrets I worry about...
Caren