I am barely holding it together at work today.
I was feeling better last Thursday--not great by any means, but I could actually say the words to my friends "my husband and I are separating" without breaking down. Then I had a slammed weekend full of distraction.
Now I'm back to a somewhat normal reality and I feel like the sky is crashing down on me. I'm being dragged to the center of the earth with a gravity so strong I can't even pretend to be alright. Every time someone asks me if I'm ok, I pretty much lose it. I am a fucking mess.
God, I hope it fucking gets better than this. I have pretty much had it with heartache and pain. I'm fucking sick of this. Sick of feeling so fucking lost and choked. I have a rotation of cold face packs to keep me from looking like a bloated corpse when I walk into work.
It has to get better. Right???