Injuries, Part A Million

Two busted lips.


How, you may ask?
I am a dedicated, overly-motivated softball player, that's how!

The funny part: Yesterday after work, I grabbed a drink with my boss. During our meandering conversation, I mentioned I was going to softball practice later that evening, and laughed about having a beer beforehand, thinking it might not be such a good idea. But it was a joke, really, because I've gone to softball games toasted out of my mind. (Hmm, can one truly be 'toasted' out of their mind? The 'toasted' implies a lesser degree of drunkenness, so how could I be out of my mind with it? Anyway, moving on.)

So needless to say, my boss had a good laugh at my expense this morning when I walked in with TWO FAT LIPS. Yeah.

Note: This injury has nothing to do with my ability or inability to play softball. It was pure chance. But man, that wet crunching sound it made when the speeding ball caught me square on my mouth was really fucking disgusting. Because my entire face went numb, I had to feel my teeth with my finger to make sure they were all there. One tooth is a bit more crooked than it should be, but no casualties, I'm happy to report. At least this injury will not prohibit me from playing on Sunday. Beans!

Also on the plus side: I had the most amazing pineapple-habanero ribs today for lunch. Yes, ribs for lunch. I know, I am pure awesome.

Update: Thanks so much to BRAD for the get well ecard!!! You rock, brotha!


  1. Cheaper and quicker than botox. Next thing you know Pam Anderson is gonna ask things to be slammed against her mouth...wait. I think she already covered that base.

    Aren't you supposed to catch the ball with your gloved hand anyways? Just an observation. No need to answer.

  2. Hey, I'll have you know that it was not my lack of skill that caused this unfortunate injury--it was the shit field we were on. I was running to intercept a fast grounder, and just at the infield/outfield line is a hump where grass meets dirt. So the ball caught that hump and shot into the air like a 13 year old on a dirt bike. Right into my face. It would have landed in my glove if it wasn't for that pesky grass line. I'll get you next time, you pesky grass line!!!
    *shakes fist at grass ramp*

  3. this thread is useless without pictures.

    -the other brad

  4. How did you eat ribs with your mouth all busted up?

  5. Very carefully. And they virtually FELL off the bone, so yeah, best ribs EVER.


Spit it, betch!