So it comes down to this: I have no time in my normal life to keep a log of the numberous aspects of my normal life. I must go on vacation to find peace, solitude, and the opportunity to write. I have been overworked, overstressed, and now, on the first eve of my long-awaited reality-break, overly sick. Well, I exaggerate. Not OVERLY sick, just plain 'ol sick.
And I'm not totally done with work: I have a book shipping on Tuesday, which basically means I'm plugged in until then. Gah. But c'est la vie, ya know? Then, THEN, I have the rest of the week to myself. Me, my man, and my dog. On a remote island. For Thanksgiving. We plan on eating lots, drinking lots, doing a whole lot of nothing, and then more of the same. We arrived today, and already I feel like the weight of the world has, if not disappeared, shifted slightly off center, ready to tumble as soon as I shrug my hopefully suntanned shoulders.
It's been a while since me and the man have had a vacation—since our honeymoon, matter of factly. Since then, a lot has happened, and frankly I'm fucking exhausted. Sometimes I just want to shake free of the contemporary world, rid myself of posessions, and scamper away into the setting sun. Is that such a bad thing? I don't want to deal with other people's shit—work shit, friend shit, family shit, life shit. Sometimes, all I want to do is deal with my own shit for once. Of course, one could argue that my caring about the surrounding shit is my own choice, and that one would technically be right. But the reality of life is that we DO have to deal with ours and everyone else's shit; it is how the world functions. It is how a responsible individual is expected to behave, and when someone doesn't deal with their shit, they are usually dumping it on someone else to deal with. Now how is that ok? Answer: it is not.
So I think, since I'm equipped with a company laptop and nothing but time to be me, I will do a bit of vacation blogging. I'm learning to deal with my shit after being really good at dealing with other peoples', so now I think I need some "ME" time.
That, and I'm going to be doing more photography; something that has eluded me for quite some time, despite moments of clicking. There is a whole wide world inside myself to discover, and I'm ready to realize the fullness of that world. I'm already a fully-alive person; I can't imagine what I will be as soon as I give myself the permission to be it.