I. Feel. GOOD.
Cross my heart, this is neither drug or alcohol-induced. Pinky swear.
Yesterday was a huge turning point for me, and I'm riding high on that crest of energy. Tonight, I had the most lovely dinner with one of the most lovely women I know. We drank wine, ate mussels and pomme frites, and discussed all the beauties and terrors of life. It was wonderful to connect and ground myself in the presence of such a special person. I'm lucky in the way I've surrounded myself with wonderfully intelligent, kind, and loving people. I don't always deserve these beautiful people, but today I am the person that deserves them. I am feeling close to my true self again, after a very long time.
Now I'm home, enjoying a beautifully clean house, and anticipating a visit from my baby sister tomorrow, whom I haven't seen since Thanksgiving. My relationship with my husband is so much better, my brother and I are like best friends, and I'm starting to clearly see why those people are so important to me. It has a lot more to do with their acceptance of me and less of my obsessive effort to love them. What a life lesson that has been: I can't make people love me. If they love me, they love me whether I want them to or not.
So many things in my life are starting to come full circle, and now I finally have the mental flexibility and the heart space to accommodate all the things I want to let in.