After Sunset, Before Sunrise

Doctors, let's call it.

Time of death: 23:30, December 10, 2009.

I kept you on life support for as long as I feasibly could. I really did. But I just don't think I can watch you suffer anymore. The heartbreak is too great, and those little lucid moments that have kept my hope alive are too few and too far between to justify this hurt any longer.

But those small moments were sweet. So sweet. They kept me going in a relationship that didn't deserve it. They keep me going now, in another relationship that should deserve it, but probably won't get it. We are both too jaded at this point to delude ourselves.

I didn't want it to be this way. I wanted to hold on for as long as I could. I always said I wouldn't be one of those people that accepts defeat and walks away to a long, lonely life full of nothing but reality. I always thought I could make the fantasy last, at least a little while longer.

If you still have yours, hold on tight. Try not to let this harsh world take it away from you.

I wish I could have held on just a little while longer. But it is like knocking on the door on an empty house.

Goodbye, inner romantic. Goodbye, little idealist. We tried.

Hello reality.


  1. I found a sad, little romantic and a shivering idealist outside my backdoor last night. I brought them in and put them in a shoebox filled with shredded newspaper and a hot water bottle. I think they're going to make it. They keep trying to eat a book of rumi poetry.

  2. Keep 'em secret. Keep 'em safe.

  3. as with all sensations, you will not feel this way forever, dear friend. hope is still alive, even if it is cold and wet and hungry. >>>HUGS<<<


Spit it, betch!