I've lost my mind.
I can still function, and be social, and everything appears to be fine, but I am really starting to lose my grasp on what I think I know about myself. It is a good, and necessary, breakdown. Not debilitating. Not emotionally destructive, although it has had me racing through the spectrum of extreme emotion in a way I haven't since I was 14 or 15. I feel myself searching for the bottom to see where I can start rebuilding.
I'm beginning to get used to these growth spurts. At first, they were really painful, and they still are, but in a way that I can accept as necessary.
I know exactly what you mean here. At random intervals I have breakdowns which result in massive shifts in me. They manifest as periods where I can't sit still or be still without desperately wanting to tear myself out of my own skin.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you see it as purposeful, when your mind takes off and leaves its scary shit unless deep down you know it's for a reason.
I'm going through one of these right now and I'm not sure what I'm going to be when I come out on the other side, but I'm going to adopt your positive attitude and look at it as a way to rebuild. To be honest, things have been shitty in Nicoleville for a while, so I'll just try to end this little jag on an up note.
ReplyDeleteKeep on keepin' on, sister.