Idiots Taking Over the World and Lots of Swear Words: A Blog in Three Parts

Part One: The Drinker
I have been thinking about my live music experiences lately, (and obviously, if you have managed to struggle through any of my recent posts, you may think that's all I do, which isn't really true), and a few things have been bothering me.

Now, in general, I think we all experience a period in our lives of being raging alcoholics. For me, that was from high school until I graduated from college, but hey, I'm alive. And that is perfectly ok. I am certainly not one to judge people (to their faces). But there comes a point in everyone's life where the alcoholic tendencies fade and real interests take up the reins. For most of us.

The Pumpkins show I went to last weekend was a real eye-opener for me. There is having a beer at a show and having a good time, and then there is using any social situation as an excuse to get drunk. Do you see where I'm going with this?

The show was male-heavy, which I don't have a single problem with. In fact, for most of my life I have related more to the male sex (in attitude and behavior, not in wanting to be one, thanks) than the female sex. I guess many of my personal characterstics are stereotypically male: direct, sex-driven, addicted to sports, etc. So I actually like being in situations where there are more men than woman. But at this show, the men, the grown mutherfuckin men, were no different that the barely post-pubescent lads grasping toward the threads of manhood: two beers in hand, hair (or what is left of it) in disarray, and completely, COMPLETELY shitfaced.

I understand kids drinking past excess; I mean, that is a damn rite of passage. It is a new, uninhibited, exhilarating feeling. But an adult man? I mean, a grown-ass adult??? Let's be serious here: there is nothing more pitiful than a slightly balding man with a punk t-shirt, an expensive watch, a marriage ring line, and attitude of entitlement. (There were drunk, grown-ass women there, too, but for the most part they minded their own business and drunkenly swayed through the whole show.)

Perhaps I expect too much. Yes, that's it. I just put the bar too high there.

No! No, that's not it. Dammit.

I go to a lot of live music in my town, and the Pumpkins show was the first one here that I've really noticed this phenomena. I think it has to do with the out-of-townies coming in for the biggest act to play here. Which, now that I think about it, are actually small turds (turdlettes, if you will) from a larger shitter: the tourist.

Part Two: The Tourer
I don't know about where you people live, but here in my hometown, tourism is a HUGE industry. I mean, we call it tourist season, but when we say "season", it really means "all year long". We're lucky enough to live in a beautiful place that is climatically interesting year-round, but unlucky enough that everyone and their brother comes here for fucking vacation. And in a town of ninety thousand, the tourists really stick out.

I don't mind tourists in general; hell, every time I go anywhere, I become one. But the difference, and this is a big difference, is that I don't leave my fucking brain at home. For example, my husband and I use maps. We love maps, and I am usually the HBIC (head betch in charge) when it comes to navigation. Now, some of the brainless tourists use maps too, but only after they stop their car in the middle of the street, get out to look at the street signs, and ask 50 people for directions. So maybe, the pitiful drunk men at the show are not so much their own phenom, as much as they belong to the "left the brain at home" populus. God, they drive me crazy.

And then there were two.

Part Three: The Suer
Our country is cultivating a society of nitwits.
"Don't take responsibility for your actions," they say, "just force the people around you to do it." Don't worry about putting hot coffee between your legs while driving, if it burns you just sue the place that made it too hot! Don't teach your children to eat well, sue the fast-food chain for your child's obesity-related diabetes and heart disease. God forbid you teach your children how to be healthy. Don't blame the mentally tortured kids that choose to take their own lives, blame the fucking music they listen to!
In such a litigious society, our world has come down to the fine print. Contracts. Such-and-such company not responsible for (insert common sense here). Release forms. Once our court system decided that individuals are too stupid to think on their own, they gave everyone a "get out of jail free" card. Don't think for yourself: if someone doesn't tell you not to do something, it's their fault!

I am a firm believer in social evolution, and all we are doing by saving the idiots from their own plights (if you put hot coffee between your legs, you should deal with the burned twat, not make millions from a lawsuit) is lowering our common denominator. And color me fucked if those are the same people contributing to our overpopulation problem.

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Spit it, betch!