So About That Mormon Thing...

Remember a month ago, when I said I used to be Mormon? Yeah, it's true. But it wasn't not of my own volition; I was born into it. I refused to be a part of it once my bio-dad passed away (he was the main one that forced me to be involved), and that was when I was 14. I think that any group has the potential to take it's beliefs too far, whether it be political, religious, moral, etc., and Mormons are no different. There are many wonderful people that are Mormons, just as there are many wonderful people that are Catholic, Buddhist, Agnostic, and Pagan. But there's always someone who has to ruin it for the rest of them, and with Mormonism I think the percentage of extremists is more than the norm. I found this GREAT video on a friend's website today, so here is your very own animated introduction to Mormonism:

Any questions? Yep, I thought that would clear things up (read: confuse the fuck out of you). And to think, we thought Scientologists were stretching it with the alien thing. I love how the whole video is kind of He-Man animated. It really fits, no?

So, like I said, any questions?


THIS IS IMPORTANT. God Bless Amerika.

**UPDATE: Here's an Op-Ed piece from our local paper, and I think it is very reasonably and thoughtfully written. The judge will most likely drop the charges against the couple, and the offending Buncombe County deputy is being investigated for conflict of interests, as well as overstepping jurisdiction. Phew!

I just read a myspace post from a friend of mine that lives in my town, and I am furious. Apparently, the local county police have taken to breaking into people's homes with no warrant, arresting them for trumped up charges, and doing it in BROAD DAYLIGHT. This is in Asheville, NC.

This is from my friend, Oso:

Subject: fascism on Brevard road, watch news13 tonight 11pm 7/27

i had to repost this. this is our town and this is not acceptable.

tony plichta here...i talked to you earlier on today about my neighbors getting arrested this morning, july 25.

known activists, mark and debbie kuhn, were approached for the last couple weeks about an american flag they had hung upside down on their front porch.

the hanging of an american flag upside down is a sign of help/distress. from their point of view, this country IS in great distress.

earlier in the week they had been approached about taking it down from a visit from the local authorities, in which mark had refused, which resulted in them posting a picture of the president on the flag saying 'impeach'. (it actually said out now...i found out later).

a day or two later, a man in military uniform came by, asking for them to remove it again, once again with mark refusing.

so now today..

i was awoken by the sound of my neighbor debbie screaming for help so people would be aware.

the order of events is still somewhat unclear. when i came outside, the flag was no longer up, and mark was on one side of his car, with the cop on the other, mark trying to keep his distance....mind you this all taking place on mark and debbies property. when i arrived, i was being told that mark and debbie were refusing to give their IDs to the cop, cause well ....they were under the assumption didnt have to. mark stated to the officer that if hed get off of their property, he would comply with giving their information.


while this was happening, we were trying to get the officers badge number....with him telling me 'this didnt concern me'..
after hassling him for it, my roommate was able to get it. badge #82.

while this is happening mark and debbie are screaming telling everyone what was going on...

mark had complied with the cops to take the flag down...which had been done at some point before this all had started to happen. they(mark and deb) were telling us that the cops had broken into their house, which is very apparent with the broken door window to unlock the door(we have pictures). they had no warrant. the broken window, forced entry, without permission from the owners of the house. things were knocked down in the house which had suggested some sort of struggle...

deb had explained to me that the cop had attacked mark. mark had some sort of scrape on his nose.

so low and behold, more cops showed up after we had started asking questions, cause well...we love the constitution and our neighbors dearly.

with the neighborhood watching, another cop came over and had threatened them with a tazer gun to get down and that they were being arrested. if they didnt comply, they would be tazed. so they were cuffed and put into the car.

we (the neighborhood)...had asked them what they were being charged with, and a female cop had said 'we dont know'.
we also noticed that they were not read their miranda rights (THE 5TH), and asked why, with another cop stating 'we dont need to', as if they were already guilty in the eyes of the law.
we have witnesses.

after being hauled away, we contacted debs son, and he had gotten ahold of the sheriffs dept. they had told him that mark and deb were being arrested for ASSAULTING AN OFFICER. this never happened. if anything , mark was simply trying to protect his home and himself from the cop who had broke into the house.

we have contacted the media and lawyers, and are waiting for responses.

the 1st, 4th, and 5th amendments were directly broken in front of our faces today. and it wasnt the asheville police, but buncombe county sheriffs dept. theres a new sheriff in town, and hes got some cleaning up to do.

feel free to write me back here, or call me on the house cell 828xxxxxxx. ill be more than happy to give you more info as we hear it....

tony plichta

and so heres the conclusion.

mark and deb were charged with two counts of assulting and officer, and one count of desecration of the flag.

after calling some of the media sources in town, we had some luck. asheville citizen-times was at the jail when they got released and interviewed them there. news 13 came by for a few hours and shot footage and talked to the construction workers who actually saw the cop kicking in the door and then smashing the glass with his fist. the mountain express came by and interviewed the neighborhood and mark and deb and got some good questions answered. overall, totally awesome. Attorney bruce elmore is taking the case for free, as well as the ACLU.

right now , the officer is trying to say that the reason the window got broken is cause mark slammed the door in his fist....seriously. and that is why they are trying to charge them with assault, cause the guy cut his hand when he fisted the glass.

so basically this what happened.

a cop showed up and told them that they had to take the flag down and that it was an NC statute they were breaking, which is only a misdemeanor. they did and as deb was putting the flag inside, the cop told mark that he was under arrest for not providing his ID. mark asked why and and went inside his house and DEADBOLT locked the door. mark walked away from the door as the cop started kicking in the door and then broke the glass with his hand. he then unlocked the bolt, opened the door, and followed mark into the kitchen. he then tryed to wrestle mark down at which point deb ran outside and started screaming in the street for help. mark got away from the cop and also ran outside, with the pig chasing him. its at this point that i ran outside with my roommates to see what was happening.

so then of course from reading from my above story, you get what happened next. we took a bunch of pictures, and spread the word. thanks to everyone for replying. when i have a more steady connection i will drop you a line personally.

mark and deb are taking this as far as they can. these people are amazing, and it just proves everything they have been saying all along.

this cop clearly broke the law. his name is SCARBOUROUGH, badge #82.

keep your eyes to the news in the next few days to weeks and see if we can get this out there and give people some knowledge.
repost and repost and repost.....
watch channel 13 news at 11pm tonite for the full story, or at least the medias version of it…


Here's a link to the local paper's article. The official word is that the flag desecration was the couple pinning pictures to the flag, not flying it upside down. So, putting pictures of Bush on the American flag is defiling it? You betcha. Straight from the fascists' mouths.

I don't know how the rest of you feel about this blatant disregard for our Constitutional Rights, but I am sad, angry, and overall completely disappointed in our local authorities. They MUST take action to rectify this situation. It is COMPLETELY UNACCEPTABLE. If you agree, please forward this to everyone you know. If it makes the national media (as questionable as that is) then it might make a difference.

Also, Bush has just said that anti-war attitudes are acts of sedition. Get your pageant wave ready for the final farewell of our rights and freedoms, people. This time is now, and it has been happening for years. Don't let the upcoming election fill you with hope; there is so much work to be done, and it starts with us. Now, use these Neo-Roman roads and spread the word. This could be you, or your neighbors.


48 Hours of Pure, Unadulterated Action

I love movies. I love photography. I love music. I love monkeys*. Of course, this is a perfect formula for the obvious: making a film.

A friend of mine emailed me a couple of months ago, wanting to know if I would like to be involved in a competition. Competition? ME? Abso-fucker-lutely. Competition is the blood that keeps my vacant, empty heart beating with the joy of giving a good smashing to someone else's ego. Or something.

It's called the 48 Hour Film Project, an annual international film competition. The basic premise is that you make a short film (4 to 7 minutes) over the course of 48 hours. Subtle title, no?

The catch is, you don't know what type of film you are making until Friday night at 7. Teams pick a film genre out of a hat, and receive three elements that must be used in the film: a character, a prop, and a line of dialog. From there, you work like mad to write, shoot, edit, and score an awesome shorty.

We had a crackerjack (yeah, I said it!) team this year, from director to mistress of props, and I have to say that if we don't win best film for our city, it will be because someone else's film was just. that. good.

I think I'll wait to go into details until I can post our finished product, so you'll have to be patient. But there are screenings starting tonight (Asheville Pizza and Brewery, in case you're a local), and I'm going to gauge audience reaction.

But here are our elements:

Genre: Comedy (awesahhhmm!)

Character: Vick/Vicki Putterman, Environmentalist
Prop: an umbrella (heh heh heh)
Dialog: That's not the way I heard it. (ho hum)

We basically created a story around our prop, the umbrella. He experiences a full day of violence, culinary creations, dancing, and sex. That's right: UMBRELLA SEX.

Check back often and regularly for more!

Boo, out.

*Note: No monkeys were harmed in the writing of this blog.


A Quick and Easy Cheer Up Solution

Old pictures from friends, drunken parties, the dude that passes out, and the people that write all over him with a permanent marker.

(Click Image for Uber Enlargement!)

I, of course, drew a penis on his forehead. He was enormously pissed, but I had a good guffaw about it.

Thanks G. I totally needed that.

Oh, and do you remember him waking up and screaming in my face, even though I was NOT the instigator (for the first time in my life)?? Heee!

What I Don't Love, Revisted

This morning, I'm driving to work, happily singing along to a Nirvana song on the radio, when my cell phone rings. It's the mother.

I pick up: "Hello?"

Mom: "Kara, I know you told me not to email you, because that made you angry, but someone is coming to look at the house today and your bed isn't made."

Me: "Wait, Mom, I wasn't angry that you emailed me. I thought you were angry at me so I wanted to talk to you and make sure you weren't. Anyway, it doesn't take long to make the bed."

Mom: "Kara, I am so tired of feeling like you won't fulfill your side of the bargain. And I have too much other shit to do with cleaning the house before these people get here. At least I have some time to do it, but....."

Me: "MOM. What do you want me to do, turn around and come make the damn bed?"

Mom: "No, but I just want you to be aware of how you are making more work for me."

Me: "I'll be there in seven minutes."

I call my boss, tell her I'll be late. Luckily, she is the coolest boss ever, so no feathers are ruffled there. I get home, my mom doesn't even LOOK at me when I walk in the door. I go downstairs and make the bed, on top of which she has dumped every single thing that was on the floor in my room. So, to make nicey-nice, I even throw a load of clothes into the washer. I go upstairs.

Me: "Mom, do you have anything else to say?"

Mom: *complete silence, as she continues to wash dishes*

Me: *walking out the door, and as a last minute thought I slam it with as much strength as I can muster*

One thing I absolutely cannot stand is the silent treatment.

So, Mom, how did the showing go? Was it worth straining our already strained relationship?

I am so furious right now.

On top of that, I went by the rental house at lunch and it still has fleas. My husband's brother and his wife are in town today for the weekend, so of course we have to stay at my mom's, with all her passive aggression and inability to communicate. What a nightmare. Thank god I'll be exponentially busy this weekend, competing in the 48 Hour Film Festival.

I need some serious cheering up, peeps.


UPDATE: So I was totally dreading going back to her house, but when I did, she came up and hugged me, and gave me this look that said, "We don't have to say anything. All is forgiven and I am sorry. Let's be good." And, you know, that felt pretty good. Luckily I had had all day, and the ears of some good friends, to help me come down from my pillar of anger. So I hugged her back, and smiled.


I Love: My Mom. I Don't Love: Living with My Mom.

It was inevitable. Things were going too well. I don't know why I didn't see it coming.

I mean, I'm a married woman. I have run my own household for going on 10 years. I have been financially independent for going on the same decade. But I had to move in with Mom.

My mom is an amazing woman. Seriously. I could go on forever about how she was an opera singer, became an incredibly successful stockbroker with no college education (other than performing arts school, and we know how THAT goes), divorced an incredibly abusive mother and first husband, raised three children and pulled her second husband out of a mountain of debt due to a disastrous first marriage, is a painter, a quilter, a chef, a master gardener, etc. etc. etc., but you might not believe me. In short, she is fucking AMAZING.

HOWEVER! One of the main character issues that comes with the territory of an overachiever (and trust me on this, I AM my mother's daughter) is the control issue.

So, how I ended up living with my mother, again:

Me and my hubs R are building a house. It is on a beautiful piece of land that feels like it is in bum-fuck, but is only 20 minutes from our downtown area. This has been a slow process, starting in March (our land is only just now graded, for those of you to have built your own house, and this is very necessary as we live in the mountains). We put our condo on the market, and wonder of wonders, it sold in a little over a month. Yippee for us! Condo is sold! Bad for us, house is not built, nowhere to go.

My mom has a big ass house. 6 bedrooms, lots of living area, a bar in the basement (seriously, it's awesome), a hot tub, fenced in for the pups. So she offers to let us stay there while we save more money for the house building. R and I think, great! We can save money! But how long can we actually live with her??

Well, it takes about three months to get to the center of the fucking tootsie pop, my friends. Three. Long. Months.

Several Reasons Why The Last Three Months Have Been The Longest Three Months of My Life:

1. My mom's house is for sale. This makes my perfectionist mother an absolute nightmare to live with about house cleaning. And me and the hubs are pretty neat people. She is the Ghangis Kahn of clean.

2. My mom's bitter mood swings. She's working it out. And we are the chopping block.

3. My social life consists ONLY of going out. Rarely do I invite people over, because I will have to deal with the passive aggressive repercussions for weeks afterwards. (Mom: Boo, have you cleaned up the corners of the bathroom where your friend [insert cool, nice friend's name here] might have stepped in dog poo and then walked into the corner in the bathroom? Me: Ummm..... not so much. Mom: *BALLISTIC*)

4. I can't walk around naked. I mean, I could if I wanted to, but come on, that makes for the most embarrassing conversation about groceries I never want to have.

5. Everything strange that happens in the house is the direct fault of me or my hubs.

6. Me and hubs had to celebrate our first wedding anniversary there, with my mom watching some crap really loudly on the TV. We finally decided to scrap a home cooked meal and go out and get drunk.

7. My mom's new PDA has speakerphone. She uses it ALL THE TIME. It is really annoying.

8. Our bedroom is directly beneath the kitchen, and even on the weekends my mom is up around 6am. BOOO for sleeping in!!!

9. My mom has extended big cable package, and watches complete crap on it all day long. Example: you know that really fucking annoying Geico commercial with the cavemen, and how they are making an actual sitcom out of that shit? (I'm dead serious.) My mom is SO into that.

10. And lastly, the biggest reason why living with my mom is unbearable right now: she makes me call her if I'm going to be out late. I'M a 27 YEAR OLD MARRIED WOMAN, AND SHE ACTS LIKE I STILL HAVE A CURFEW.

So, I know all two of you are thinking, Well, Boo, why not just move out?

At the end of June, me and the hubs signed a lease to rent a little house until our new house is built (halleluiah). This little house is so cute. The yard is fenced in for the pup, it is only a 7 minute walk to my office, a 2 minute walk to the awesome organic foods store, and an 8 minute walk to the bars downtown. On the first day of July, we started bringing boxes from our storage unit into said house. After about 5 minutes, I look down at my feet, and they are covered, and I mean COVERED, in fleas. GAH!!! GAH GAH GAH!!!!

We bomb the house. Next day we go back, fleas are still there. We bomb it again. Next day we go back, fleas are still there. We call Terminix and they spray the shit out of it. Fleas ARE STILL THERE!!!!! To date, Terminix has sprayed the house 4 times, and I just heard from hubs today. He went by the house at lunch, and yep, fleas are still fucking there.

So, just when it seemed we were free and clear, going to be living our own lives again, the worst flea infestation our bug guy has ever seen (!) has happened in the house we rented.

I mean, it is almost unbelievable. OH! And get this: my mom, the one who has been the challenge to my mental stability for the past three months, is sad we are moving out, and of course taking it out on us.

At this point, I'm about ready to just live with the fucking fleas.


I Love Monkey Torture

I guess it's all incestuous around here, what with the bug torture blogs from onthevirg, and TK, and Meg's poor mouse (the themes people, not incestuous with critters. geez, get yer minds outta there!). So when I read litelysalted's Kids in the Hall post, I remembered back 12, nay 14 years ago, when The State first aired on MTV (back when it only sucked a little less than it does now). Does anyone remember The State? I hope so.

hee hee hee!! Oh, those GUYS!

Oh, and also: puddin'.

To this day, me and the hubs STILL say "I wanna DIP MY BAAAALLLLLSS in it." (What can I tell ya, we're fun people!)
AAAAAAAND Kabuki State:

True comedy, folks. And with that, I bid yieu adieu.


PS: Remember "Wet Hot American Summer"? Yeah, me too!


Not So Anon Anymore

Well, that was an interesting experiment. I thought I would be talking a lot more shit about people I know than I really did, thus the anonymous blog. But I didn't, and I ended up feeling kind of estranged from myself. It's like wearing a Halloween costume, but all the time, not just on Halloween. I mean, don't get me wrong, I love to role play, but I always end up coming back to being me. Because I'm a cool betch.

Say hello to me everyone! Hello!

The whole Robot Gone Good was a dirty, dirty lie. Firstly, I am not a robot. Secondly, I definitely have not gone good. In fact, I'm no better now than I ever was (in some respects), and you know what? I'm ok with that. In other ways, however, I rock. So now that I'm giving you all the chance to get to know the "real" me, I hope you enjoy it. Because my personal happiness hinges on how many comments I have for each post. (Read: I'll commit suicide if you don't leave me a comment.) (Kidding.)

I'm just a good ol' Southern girl, living a simple and (for the most part) happy life.

Here I am at work (last year), doing what I do best: being a cool betch. Welcome strangers!


Ear Candy: Roads

I'm in a "Roads" mood.

This is still, after more than 12 years, my favorite song. Even now, when I'm listening to my iTunes and I hear the first couple of bars, I get goosebumps. I don't know why this song hits me so powerfully, but damn it hits home. It could easily be the anthem for my life.

Portishead, and Beth, completely rock my world. If you want to come over to my house for a jam session, this is almost always on the set list.

Here it is, set to scenes from "Equilibrium".

TK, can you tell me why you like that movie? I tried to like it, but just couldn't do it.


Dumbasses and Fireworks

The Indoor Idiots:

The Bad Friends:


(That actually looks like fun....but what the fuck does "Yo way hoogagdad" mean???)

Ass Rockets:

Ha ha ha ha! I love the sound of that kid's laugh during the slo-mo....

And lastly, my favorite,

The Ring of Fire:

Happy Fourth People. Go burn yourself.